I make my morning coffee with water, clean and clear, from my tap. Where was it grown and by who? I try not to think about that.

As it percolates quietly I read the morning news, and try not to think of the results of what I consume.

And every single moment I live in...

I've been getting better at learning to live with the shame of knowing the consequences and buying in just the same, to shelves of disposable, brightly-colored, future trash that I never needed before and I now I can't seem to live with the lack.

And every single moment I live in...

I wish that I could spend one single day fixating on something else for a change. I never thought that my life would end up this way.

I've got this terrible reoccurring dream where I stand on a pile of trash that extends for as far as the eye can see. All disposable cups, every cigarette butt, every ounce of gas that I've ever used. I am gasping for breath as it's filling my lungs, I wake up still choking on the fumes.

And every single moment I live in fear that I'll be alive while everything beautiful dies; coral reefs bleach and decay, the amazon engulfed in flames. All forests, all deserts, all seas, the whole world a planet of weeds. While global ecosystems crash, the only ones that survive are the species that live on our trash.

So we bear witness, it's already too late. We bought into their systems, we all carry the shame. We all wanted something, no matter the cost.

So now we get nothing, nothing at all.