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She​/​Her​/​Hers

by She/Her/Hers

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BeesKnees
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BeesKnees Its hard to say what this album has meant to me as I am coming out. So uh... thank you <3<3<3 Favorite track: Hopeful//Scared.
toast-king
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toast-king I love it, the blend on multiple genres and the positivity it can bring to even tough subjects. By the end you cant help but feel a little euphoric about yourself :-) Favorite track: To-Do Lists (Color Coded).
Tara
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Tara this is the most relatable album I've ever heard.

favorite track is an incredibly hard toss up between "Gender is Boring" and "I think i finally love myself".

this album would have cracked my egg if it hadn't already hatched ages ago.

i have experienced every track on this album in my life and I'm so thankful that I'm finally in "I Think I Finally Love Myself". Favorite track: Gender Is Boring.
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1.
Getting comfy at the bottom ‘Cause I’ve never been on top of anything Weaning myself off the bottle of cynicism and apathy Another existential crisis gonna…. 1, 2, 3, 4 Getting sick of waking up at three p.m. Oh, I haven’t seen the sun since god knows when If this winter doesn’t kill me then I will First step admitting there’s a problem The next is... To-do lists color-coded, drinking water, online applications Brushing my teeth, quitting smoking When the dread settles in Push it out again Don't let it win In the quiet hours of the night I can feel that something isn’t right A chemical imbalance in my brain It ebbs and flows but it never goes away Getting comfy at the bottom and I am over it First step admitting there’s a problem The next step is…
2.
I'm worried about my friends ’Cause they all feel stuck In relationships or the towns where they grew up I’m scared their drug-induced apathy won't last forever I'm worried that it will Avery said that they’re scared 'Cause everything is temporary I said that I'm glad 'Cause everything sucks, eventually I'm not being cynical I've just seen everything get stale If you don't circulate the air My friend Kate had to move back in with her dad This town ain’t no place for a kid Who's struggling to make rent I know we all make our own homes Temecula is no place for personal growth But you already know that Security is complacency Comfort’s a white flag Please don't give up yet I'm not saying everyone should run away from home But if you stay cause you feel there's nowhere to go Well I think you should try Pack your Jansport bag full of books and snacks Like you’re 12 years old You know you're never coming back Don't tell anyone why If you're not feeling hopeful If you're not feeling scared What are you doing here? It's the feeling you get when you've got a crush Or at the edge of the cliff before you take the plunge A little bit hopeful, a little bit scared Hopeful, scared
3.
Internet Ads 05:22
Those personalized ads on the internet That track all your search history They try to show you what you're likely to buy They no more than my closest friends and family ‘Cause I'm getting ads for Victoria’s Secret “Buy one bra get one more free” They say lingerie as a present is selfish I guess that it's true ‘Cause I buy it for me I used to keep some of my secrets In a box under my bed With a letter that said I was sorry Just in case I was ever found dead I used to wish I could just hide away In a hole that I dug in my room I’d sit and play games and my body would change Until I could come out and face you The dark is a great place to start when you're scared Of the way the your skin will react to the light of the sun I’m coming out slowly with mammoth explosions Don't care who knows it or maybe I do And that’s all right You don’t have to give up your cave if the sun’s still too bright Some days we’re strong and others we’re scared And others we promised ourselves we’d be strong But felt vastly unprepared Those personalized ads on my browser See nothing at all wrong with me And it’s kind of refreshing to be so accepted Even if all they’ll except is my money I hope I get caught I hope I‘m found out I don’t really care if you know At least that is what I’m telling myself in the morning As I close the blinds to my window So I’m not afraid of that box in my bedroom Though I offer no repentance Even though every time I try to tell you the truth I trail off at the end of my…
4.
I don't wanna go outside today 'Cause it's getting really hot You said “we should go swimming” Said you knew the perfect spot I lie and say “I'm too busy to hang out today.” I don't wanna leave the house today 'Cause the sun is way too bright No, I can't just wear a t-shirt So I'll wrap my hoodie tight around me Spend the whole fucking summer Blasting the A/C No one wants to be the kid at the river With a t-shirt on I don't wanna be the girl with a tan face and pale arms No one wants to be the kid who's afraid to go outside I think of all the friends I've had And the ones I never made Parties to which I could've gone But I don't cause I'm afraid I lie and say “I'm too busy to hang out today.” I think of the girls I've liked And the ones I'll never meet Most of the chances that I've missed Are the ones I didn't take I just can't believe anyone would wanna talk to me I just can't believe anyone would wanna be with me No one talks to the girl at the party sitting all alone Playing her guitar in the corner or staring at her phone No one wants to talk to the girl Staring silently at the wall So I said: This year's gonna be different I'll talk to anyone I think looks cool at all This year's gonna be different I’ll go swimming at the river wearing nothing at all This year's gonna be different I'm done being too afraid to leave the house at all This year's gonna be different Uh-huh 'Cause I'm finally the kid at the river without a t-shirt on I'm finally the girl at the party not staring at her phone You know if I think you're cool Well I'm gonna fucking talk to you
5.
I've got this feeling and I can follow it Across dozen of state lines Just drop in on my friend's lives And I could stay but I'd eventually find my way Back to this endless, barren stretch of interstate I could cry in the car To a song that isn't sad And you can tell that I don't know what I'm doing I don't know where I'm going or where I'm at
6.
Giving Up 03:23
I've got problems I've been avoiding them Feeling lost and alone again Kinda feel like giving in It's so easy to let everyone down Let myself down This time around maybe I can figure out All the freedom in the world is worthless When you're living day to day without a purpose All my happiness is shit I didn't earn it I don't deserve it Well I've got this dream where I give up on everything Sell everything I own and move to the woods alone But I am so over giving up So tired of quitting So sick of believing That I can't do all the things I need to do That I can't see anything through
7.
I never wanted to be a princess I never asked anyone to braid my hair I never asked my mom to buy me things that I saw on the TV marketed towards girls I never wanted to wear a dress And I was never obsessed With the color pink, sparkling things Unicorns, fairy wings Gender never really meant that much to me Until people started telling me how I was supposed to be Until the people that I loved started to say “Boys don’t act that way” You see the problem I have with gender Is that I'm not even sure whether I know what I mean when I say “I'm a girl because I feel that way” 'Cause boys can wear dresses and makeup Anyone can wear whatever they want Girls can have short hair and muscles And that's where I run into trouble 'Cause if I use “she” pronouns, well, what does that mean? Am I reinforcing a gender binary? That I don't believe in? That I don't adhere to? I say I’m a woman, what’s that supposed to tell you? Gender doesn't tell you a damn thing about me It doesn’t tell you what I like or how I act, it doesn't tell you how I speak The people you love, they don't love you if they say “Boys don’t act that way” I think it's time that our culture moves past This toxic notion that the way we act Is dictated at birth or that we have to choose It's an imposed binary, either way we lose So do what you want And dress how you feel Don't let anyone tell you that gender is real It's useless, oppressive, and boring Worthless, hurtful, and stifling I think it's time that we put it in its place So come on let's put gender into an early grave I never again want to hear anyone say “Boys don’t act that way”
8.
Family 05:33
We speak, we talk Yeah, we hang out a lot And you don't use my name Yeah, you don't use my name You think I don't notice how you guard your tongue? And we're always alone Yeah, we're always alone I thought it'd be different I thought if anyone would understand I thought that you would understand But you don't This isn't being supportive You’re acting like nothing's changed Don't you know that everything's changed? I’ll never be the same again It's a secret you don't tell your friends But if you ever wanna be close again You have to accept that this is who I am I'm not your boy and I never was I'm still your kid, yeah, you're still my dad, but I'm not your son I'm not ashamed but I'm afraid you are Everyone's got in line, but you've fallen behind so far It's a secret you don't tell your friends But if you ever wanna be close again You have to accept that this is who I am Don't need apologies, don't need words Need you show me what family is worth 'Cause from what I can see It's not worth anything at all
9.
Is that what you remember? Is that what you’ve taken out of this? We build our narratives, the stories of our lives If you want yours to be a tragedy, that's fine. You won't remember this face in twenty years I will be older, I am changing all the time You may not see this face for twenty years I am transitioning to a life without you I don’t wanna keep talking about it How you can’t understand how I feel If you can’t find the space inside of your heart for me Well, that’s fine.
10.
Nvr Pass 03:45
Never felt less alone than I do right now Never more like I was out of the closet The only thing that seems worse than never coming out Is the thought of having to get back in it I'll never pass I lived my whole damn life as a doll on a shelf Occasionally taken down to be passed around I was told all the time how to be a man Fit a mold, cut your hair, we'll tell you what to wear I don't want to spend the rest of the life I have Trying to squeeze into a box that's even smaller The only difference I could find is it's painted pink It's not the color I don't like It's the obligation And I don't have an obligation To anyone but myself So I'll probably never pass Seems more like hiding than being who I am I'll probably never pass I'd rather live my life visibly trans I'll never pass I'll never pass Not like I would want to anyway!
11.
Some days If I could give it all up you know I would If I could trade pissing behind a rest stop in kansas In fear of the looks of road-tripping families and truckers For a college degree and comfort in my assigned gender You know that I would No one really gets to choose the person they are I did not get to choose how I was born I won't choose how I die I will probably always live in doubt For the remainder of my life That the choices I am making just aren't right But most days I feel stronger and more beautiful all the time I am more confident and self aware than I have ever been in my life I am happy to be happy with all of my faults I am content to be content with all of my flaws No one really gets to choose the person they are I did not get to choose how I was born But I can choose how I’m living I will probably always harbor some doubts But mostly I feel fine In fact I feel fantastic I am living with enthusiasm Reckless abandon I wouldn't trade my life with anyone I wouldn't give this up for anything I think I finally love myself Nothing and no one can ever take that away from me

about

She/Her/Hers is the creative project of songwriter Emma Grrrl, beginning in 2015 as a vessel to discuss her coming out as a transgender woman. On her first two releases Emma channeled the experiences of coming out and trans life into raw and personal folk punk, recording mostly at a friend’s studio whenever they had surprise availability. The sudden nature of these sessions meant they often captured stripped down versions of the songs, arranged to be quickly and easily recorded.

On her upcoming self-titled LP Emma recontextualizes these songs through the reflective lens of hindsight. After recording the original versions at impromptu sessions, Emma entered the studio for 2 weeks with the intention of rerecording a selection of tracks with the fullness that they were originally imagined.With support of drummer Cody Kutilla, Emma built out the arrangements for a full band. Having the opportunity to develop these songs with intent and time, they evolved into something new entirely. Tracks like “Internet Ads” and “Family” have pivoted from their original folk punk fury to dynamic chamber pop confessionals. Others like “Sweaters in Summer” are beefed up with trumpets and gang vocals. Pianos, horns and woodwinds fleet in between theatrical vocals and punchy guitars, coming together as a more versatile and expressive version of these songs.

Thematically, the LP closes its focus in on the early days of Emma’s coming out process, telling stories that reflected where she was in her life at the time they were written. In returning to these songs with newfound perspective, Emma infuses them with grandiosity and new life. With so much happening between the writing and rerecording of these songs, it is fitting that these songs have been transformed through the rerecording process. “Transitioning (To a Life Without You)” begins as a traditional power-pop, but explodes into a heavy halftime breakdown complete with fuzzed out bass and guitar heroics. 2018’s “Giving Up is Sooo Last Year” is split into two parts, the Django Reinhardt inspired “(Giving Up Interlude)” and the full band jazz romp “Giving Up”. “Gender is Boring”, which was originally recorded as a folky gender manifesto on 2018’s Grrrl Angst, is transformed and expanded into emotionally maximalist piano pop. Meshed between the keys and horns are crowdsourced gang vocals from dozens of online trans friends and fans. Going all in on revisiting old songs, Emma even pulls out a cover of “Internet Ads”, a song written by her friend Scout Seshimo of the band Bogsey. Having sung backup vocals on the original track, a synthy folk punk tune, Emma reimagines “Internet Ads” as a Vanessa Carlton-esque piano ballad. In re-examining this time of her life through old songs, Emma goes a step beyond increasing the fidelity, adding a sense of reflection, clarity, and pride.

credits

released October 14, 2022

Emma - Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals
Cody Kuuttila - Drums
Piper Bazard - Trumpet
RB Roe - Bass on Track 11, Vocals on Track 6 and 9
Sheridan Woika - Trombone and Mellophone on Tracks 1 and 8
John Warmb - Vocals on Track 6
Dima Faustov - Saxophone on Tracks 6, 7, and 8
Hannah Gobbett - Clarinet, Bass Clarinet on Tracks 2, and 3.

All songs written and arranged by She/her/hers, except Internet Ads, written by Bogsey. Credit to Porch Cat for "Sweaters in Summer," since I accidentally stole the verse melody from them because they write absolute bangers that bounce around in my head all the time.

Album produced, engineered, mixed, and mastered by Steve Perrino at Bottleworks Recording Studio in Cleveland, OH

Artwork by Mikaela Jane

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She/Her/Hers Lansing, Michigan

She/Her/Hers is Emma grrrl and friends.
Gender is Boring.
Kill The Boy Band

Don Giovanni Records

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